The day we found out we were pregnant was not a happy one. We weren’t excited, or thrilled. We did not see it as a blessing, or an amazing fortune. Instead, we saw it as a disaster. An unexpected misfortune that we were absolutely not prepared for. With our son only one years old, behind on our bills, and stressed out about our future, we just knew there was no way for us to provide for another child so soon. Diapers, wipes, clothes, a place to sleep, food, childcare, the list went on and on in our heads every single day. Ultimately we decided that there was no way we would be able to swing it, so we decided to schedule an abortion. It was the only option we thought we had, so we went ahead and scheduled the appointment.
When we arrived at the clinic the parking lot was fairly empty with cars pulling in for early morning appointments. We got out the car and headed inside. We filled out all the paper work and sat in the waiting room waiting for our name to be called. My name was called fairly quickly, so Jarrell went ahead and stepped outside. But this time, there were some people standing outside of the clinic. They were speaking about the value of life and that if you just have faith, God will able you to provide for the children he blesses you with. When Jarrell saw the women, he thought to just go on about his business, but something led him to actually listen and hear them out. They ended up talking for a good while, and Jarrell suddenly had a change of heart.
When I arrived to the front office to make the payment, they hit me with a surprise. They told me I was actually further along than I thought I was, and because of that I would need to pay more money. I picked up the phone and called Jarrell to ask him to come inside, but to my surprise, he had something else on his mind. He told me about the conversation he had outside with the women and asked me for the first time, “Are you sure you want to do this?”. He told me all about his conversation and that he felt differently for the first time about our decision. But because I was already there and had already paid, I figured I needed to stick with it, so I returned back to the waiting room.
When I got to the waiting room, an older women called me into her office. She was a counselor there to ask me one last time was I sure about my decision, and If was to ever changed my mind, I could at any point, even on the procedure table, and turn around if I wanted to. When I returned to the seating area, my mind was racing. For the first time, I was no longer sure about my decision. I felt guilty knowing that I wasn’t sure anymore. I no longer wanted this.
The nurse called me Back to a small room. It was time to take the medication that would make my body start to dilate unnaturally so that they could do the procedure, but something unexpected happened. The nurse left the room without saying much, then came back. She looked confused, and said that my temperature came back 106. I was confused because I didn’t feel sick. She said she needed to let the doctor know as soon as possible, and left the room again. When she returned, she said that the doctor will not perform the surgery , because the temperature being that high could cause infection. They proceeded to let me know that I needed to reschedule the appointment for the following week. I felt like this was strange .. and left the office.
I left the clinic, went outside, and called Jarrell to pick me up. We talked about the situation and wether or not we should reschedule, And to my surprise, we both decided not to. We had both changed our minds that day, and I believe it was God speaking to us, and the two women we were lucky to be at the clinic that day, Mary Clauson and Cathy Schneider.
After we came outside, Mary treated us to Chick-fil-A for lunch, and gave us encouragement by telling us stories of other women that had also changed their minds the same way we had. She even scheduled an ultra sound at a clinic near by and we both got to see our baby for the first time together. We felt a feeling of relief, and confidence, thanks to Mary and her kindness.
Now fast forward to this moment, short time from our due date, and again we have been blessed by Mary, Cathy, and all of you, their wonderful friends, With everything we ever needed and more to take care of the new arrival thanks to this unexpected digital baby shower. Thanks to you, all of the things we were so worried about, diapers, wipes, a place to sleep, clothes, and so much more have been provided to us. We cannot thank you enough and you have no idea how much this means to us and how this has changed our lives.
We no longer see our daughter as misfortune, terrible news, or disappointment. We see her for what she is, a blessing, good luck, and additional joy in our lives. Because of you all we now have a new found faith that God will always provide through prayer, faith, and amazing people like you all. So thank you so much and we are truly grateful, we wish you all happy holidays and blessings,
Jarrell, Jamila, and Jamir